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brokenships:

A matchbox, I think it was her grandmother’s
6 years, still lasting on my side | Ljubljana, Slovenia

“The matchbox reminds me of the passionate hugs of our first years, when she used to like folding in my arms and the closeness between us still made her happy. I am sorry I acted like an idiot, to put it mildly, and my behavior greatly contributed to her mistrust. On the other hand she, as a fierce Sagittarius, had some ‘hunting passion’ in her -– as long as I was reserved, her love was passionate as she was trying to ‘catch’ me. During the last year, when I completely gave myself up to her, her hugs became cold and infrequent. As Clarisa Pinkola E. wrote, my ex was obviously trying to push me away: ‘Coldness means an end to every relationship. If you want to kill something, just stay cold. As soon as you freeze your feelings, thoughts and acts, the relationship becomes impossible. People who want to leave somebody outside in the cold ignore them and they do not invite them in. They try to avoid this person instead of seeing or hearing them.’ I truly love her and whatever I do to get her out of my head, or better, out of my heart, turns out to be just a temporary plaster. Perhaps some day I will achieve what she used to say: ‘to love somebody without being with them’.”

I need to remember this!

(via thisiswhatimean)